Words from the wise

Should I Kill Myself?

November 25, 2006

Unfortunate stories.. after unfortunate stories was written for us by life itself.. It was like yesterday was more happy than today..  If  anyone does’nt know the meaning of the word poor then this story about my family would fit that word’s definition..

Now in this very sad.. gloomy day.. I live in a house which has been "cut in half" literally,  because of a sad story which I’m going to tell everyone. Water supply has been cut..
Forcing my family to ‘ask’ for water from our nieghbour and some from our nearest family members.. Electicity bills are estimated to be more than RM 2000 after some damn SESB technician said we have some stupid "By Pass" in our power supply meter.. Talking about the food.. It’s all about being thankful that there’s food at the table on any particular day… Our 50 something healthy chickens was all reduced to ashes.. no more chickens survived the plague., an evil spell that was cast upon them..

Since I came back from Pahang.. Everyday, I witness my own mother wiping her own  small tears when she’s sitting in her favourite couch and whine about our situation to my father.. She always said
"This is your fault.. If you never helped your good for nothing brother.. We would never end up like this if you never helped him.."
My father would just be silent knowing that he had nothing to say to defend himself.. Plus if he actually did.. It would be like inviting Havoc + Disorder = Destruction., in his life…

Our PAIN and AGONY started when my own uncle, "The Masked Satan" sold his part of the family property to a bussiness man who plans to build a mega structure just behind my house.. His idiotic move actually forced my family to move from our house.. (In which would be much better if we did) But my parents was determine to stay.. resulting to the "RECONSTRUCTION" of our house..
My very own beloved house was not that big.. it was quite a small hoause to live in. But, after the reconstruction.. everything change.. our kitchen.. two bedrooms (including my brother’s and mine) and half of the living room was demolished.. because those places was in the bussiness man’s property.. so he has every right to do anything in his damn property.. This happened during I was studying in KML (Labuan)..
My family had a smart plan (which I found very s**pid at that time)..
adding some planks of wood to create walls in our parking lot..
When I questioned the "LAW" =My parents= why the F**K can’t we just move to our old house.. They said "That is just exactly the bussinessman wants us to do.. when we move.. we are letting him ‘WIN’ "…
I never questioned anything from that day after recieving such an answer from them.. My mother is a house wife while my father is his own boss.. but lately bussiness has been bad for us and things are getting worst by the day…
My uncle is an "abuser of drugs" and he always had problems with money and my father was always there to save the day.. forgetting that he actually has his own family to take care of… I’m not "that" mad about my father’s action compared to my mother., I’m just shocked I have an uncle who has five children of his own to be a drug addict…
If you guys don’t know the meaning of the idiom "The black sheep of the family".. just imagine my uncle being in your family… yeah that would be it… The Black Sheep…
My uncle left his whole family and made us live in a VERY SMALL HOUSE…

I think I should stop telling these gloomy tales before I cry… I see myself living in a crappy world where nobody can help me.. So there., I change so much after this happened… But deep inside, I believe there is a small ray of light glimmering upon me showing me that there is HOPE in the future…

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