Words from the wise

~How to be an effective teacher in class (for teachers)~

July 23, 2008

Hello well.. this is another stupid addition of my wierd teachings upon the world..

~How to be an effective teacher in class (for teachers)~

1. Bring a large cane and name it "The Punisher"… when students just seems uncontrolable, just say "The Punisher wanna listen to some screaming right now..". (This method is useful to make students listen to all those crap you’re talking in class)
2. Meet some lonely students personally and tell them "I have a secret to tell you.. You’re my favourite student.. Don’t tell anyone.. I believe you’re the best behaved student"
   • Lonely students are those f**ked up lonely students who lack of "Mommy’s love" or "daddy’s attention".
   • Lonely students are also those you keeps complaining about life and wants to kill themselves because there are too many ‘f**ked up students’.
   • Moreover, lonely students may also be those who are undergoing ‘infatation’ with other students who are not having ‘infatation’ upon them… creating a really f**ked up student who listen to "Westlife Songs" 24-7 and say crappy lines like "My life is meaningless without love.." and/or "She’s / He’s my soul partner… We’re meant to be together…"
3. Always be in shape (Applies to male and female teachers)
4. If a male student has a crush on you..
   • ~For female teachers.. unless… you have a crush in them too~
     Try wearing a more longer skirt.. Stop winking your eyes with him during class time.. Tell them "it’s not real.. they’re booby jobs"
   • ~For male teachers unless you’re gay~
     Tell them to stop sending love letters..
5. If a female student has a crush on you..
   • ~For female teachers who are not lesbians~
     Don’t bother to tell them you’re straight…
   • ~For male teachers~
     Make sure they won’t tell daddy
6. Build a webcam in class so their parents can look at them online.
7. Talk to "The Punisher" then gaze at targeted victimized student that is irritating you at that moment…
8. Do a school trip and bring students to your own house… After that, show them pictures of mansions from really wicked educated nobel prize crap winner professors…
9. ~For female teachers~
   When students are not giving much attention, do the "Janet Jackson" and continue teaching like normal.
10. ~For male teachers~
    When it seems like a dry & boring class… do the "Janet Jackson" as well to make thing a little more interesting.
11. Make them think you know everything.
12. Make them feel you actually care about their dreams of becoming filthy rich.
13. Make them believe they will miss you when you won’t be teaching them anymore.
14. Make them pay to "The Punisher" when they annoy you.
15. Tell them the difference between Idiocy, stupidity and genius.

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